Yesterday I went paddling for the first time since early September.
The air was fresh. The river was full of life. Upstream, the water was calm and the trees were turning yellow and red. Near the boathouses, the river was busy with Oxford University students training and learning to row.
When I got home, I felt happy. I realised how much I’d missed it.
As November brings renewed attention to men’s mental health, it made me think about how important it is to make time for the things that make us feel good.
As the days get shorter, we spend more time indoors, see friends less often and sometimes become a little more isolated. Work, family and everyday responsibilities can easily fill every available space.
But happiness isn’t always found in big achievements or extraordinary experiences.
For me, it’s a good conversation with friends that goes on longer than expected, or cooking a nice meal and having friends around the table. An evening at home, making popcorn and watching a film with the children. Preparing some mulled wine with my wife, holding a warm cup and enjoying the cosiness of being together. A Sunday morning with a good book and a coffee. A walk outdoors, taking in the surroundings, or playing football with my son.
Ordinary moments. But they matter.
We need to be deliberate about making space for them. And, as men, we also need to become more comfortable talking about how we feel. Looking after our mental health isn’t weakness. Sometimes it means recognising that we’re not feeling great and having the courage to talk to someone or ask for help.
I consider myself a happy and fortunate person. Having experienced tragedy and loss from a young age, I’ve learned how fragile and short life can be. Perhaps that’s why I believe so strongly in saying yes to opportunities, exploring the world, finding purpose and appreciating the little things. I find great fulfilment in helping others achieve their dreams, creating meaningful experiences and leaving something positive behind. For me, happiness is also about what we can help others experience.
Yesterday, paddling didn’t solve any of life’s problems or change my circumstances. But it reminded me how much I enjoy being out on the water, and how important it is to make time for the things that make me happy.
I came home happier. That is a good place to start.
Look after yourself. Make time for the things you love. Stay connected. Check in on the people you care about.
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